Funny Law Jokes

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5 hours ago We’ve heard hundreds of lawyer jokes over the years, so we’ve compiled them into a list of our 10 favorite. Here’s a quick look at 10 of the funniest lawyer jokes we’ve heard. 1. A secretary, a paralegal and a lawyer in a Minnesota law firm are walking through Como Park on their way to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub

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9 hours ago Funny Law 1 Anthony’s Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. Funny Law 2 Bell’s Theorem: As soon as the body is immersed fully in the bathtub, the telephone will ring.

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2 hours ago 30+ Hilarious Lawyer Jokes - Meebily

1. The Case of The Imaginary Dogs. My niece was dragged into court by a neighbor who complained about her barking dogs. At one point, the judge asked the neighbor a question.
2. The Best Legal Advice Ever… ... was spotted on a billboard ad for the law office of Larry L. Archie: “Just because you did it doesn’t mean you’re guilty.”
3. What Does DUMB Stand For? While serving jury duty, I noticed that the defense attorney seemed a bit nervous. At one point, he picked up a piece of evidence and asked his client, who was on the witness stand, “I see an acronym on this receipt.
4. Six Dumb Questions Real Lawyers Asked In Court. “How many times have you committed suicide?” “Were you alone or by yourself?” “Was it you or your brother who was killed?”
5. Trappiest Place on Earth. A man won an $8,000 settlement from Disneyland after he got stuck on the It’s a Small World ride. He said he’ll use the money to cut out the part of his brain that won’t stop playing “It’s a Small World After All.”
6. I Don’t Say “Hey” Pro Bono. A lawyer e-mailed a client: “Dear Jennifer: Thought I saw you on the street the other day. Crossed over to say hello, but it wasn’t you, so I went back.
7. Long Tour of Duty. I work in a courthouse, so when I served jury duty, I knew most of the staff. As I sat with other prospective jurors listening to a woman drone on about how long the process was taking, a judge and two lawyers passed by, giving me a big hello.
8. A Little Too Literal. If you’re interested in becoming a lawyer, you’ll need a degree. But as these court transcripts reveal, the question is, in what?
9. Roll Call. I was in juvenile court, prosecuting a teen suspected of burglary, when the judge asked everyone to stand and state his or her name and role for the court reporter.
10. The First Case. An investment banker decides she needs in-house counsel, so she interviews a young lawyer. "Mr. Peterson," she says. " Would you say you're honest?"

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3 hours ago 30+ Hilarious Lawyer Jokes. July 8, 2020. September 12, 2019. by Emma. A lawyer’s profession has always been confused by someone who himself has never had to associate with the occupation. This I why lawyers are the subject of everyone’s jokes. If you have any lawyer friend in your group you will know how easy it is to make their fun.

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6 hours ago Following is our collection of funny Law jokes.There are some law lawyer jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline.

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5 hours ago A guy in a Law School walks into the Headmaster's office. He tells the Headmaster, "Sir I have failed my exams, but you have to pass me if you are unable to answer one question that I have. The Headmaster accepted the condition and the guy asked, "Give me a scenario where there is: 1. Something legal but not logical 2.

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6 hours ago Studying law is generally seen as a very serious intellectual pursuit, that requires a good deal of intelligence and dedication to successfully complete. While this is absolutely true, it doesn't mean that students have to leave their sense of humor at the door! Turns out, that all those long, hard hours of study help to nurture a special kind

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8 hours ago Q. How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb? A. You need 250 just to lobby for the research grant. Q: What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention? A: The caterer. Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons? A: If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Q: Why are lawyers like

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2 hours ago Law and Order Jokes. Free Christian jokes, clean jokes, funny jokes, and clean law jokes and humor about the law, lawyers, criminals, judges, the law, cops, and more. Always A Catch - The woman at the insurance office inquired as to the costs, amounts paid, etc.

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9 hours ago 31 Depressing Jokes That Only Law Students Will Find Funny. Buzz. ·. Posted on 8 Jan 2018.

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3 hours ago "A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats." - Benjamin Franklin. -- A good lawyer is a bad neighbor. -- What's wrong with Lawyer jokes? Lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else thinks they're jokes. -- What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer

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9 hours ago Dirty Lawyer Jokes (10) Funny Lawyer Questions (29) Law School Jokes (6) Summer Internships (1) Funny Legal Cartoons (20) Funny Legal Quotations (26) Law Practice Jokes (19) Criminal Law Jokes (1) Divorce Lawyer Jokes (6) Litigation Jokes (4) Medical Malpractice Jokes (1) Personal Injury Jokes (5) Sexual Harassment Jokes (1) Law Practitioner

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4 hours ago Oct 9, 2019 - Explore Sandra Lee's board "Law Jokes", followed by 375 people on Pinterest. See more ideas about lawyer jokes, legal humor, lawyer humor.

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7 hours ago October 8, 2021 Canadian Lawyers Want Person Not in Canada to Go There So They Can Kick Her Out October 6, 2021 U.S. Army …

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8 hours ago A good lawyer knows the law well, an excellent lawyer knows the judge well! What do you call a 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start. What do you call a 1000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? The Great Barrister reef. What do lawyers and sperm have in common? One in a million have a chance of becoming human over time.

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1 hours ago Behind every successful man stands a devoted wife, and a surprised mother-in-law. Contents1 Funny Mother in Law Jokes1.0.0.1 2 Funny, Witty, Clean Mother-in law One-liners3 Will and Guy’s Favourite Mother-in-law Joke4 Mother-in-law5 Short Mother-in-law Jokes6 Solomon Delivers Justice to Mother in Law7 Mothers8 Not A Mother-in-law Joke, A True Story!9 Les …

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5 hours ago

1. It’s Funny Cause It’s True. How many lawyer jokes are there, anyway? Only three. The rest are true stories. Featured Programs: Sponsored School(s) Rasmussen University.
2. Have a Cigar … A young lawyer, defending a businessman in a lawsuit, feared he was losing the case and asked his senior partner if he should send a box of cigars to the judge to curry favor.
3. Of Swine and Men … A rabbi, a Hindu, and a lawyer are in a car that breaks down in the countryside one evening. They walk to a nearby farm and the farmer tells them it’s too late for a tow truck but he has only two extra beds and one of them will have to sleep in the barn.
4. You Can’t Get Mad at Gravity … How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Cut the rope.
5. Unless It’s One of Our Witnesses, Of Course … What separates witnesses from the lowest form of life on earth? The wooden partitions around the witness stand.
6. No Good Question Goes Unbilled … A man went to a lawyer and asked what his fee was. “$100 for three questions,” answered the lawyer. “Isn’t that a little steep?”
7. Double Time … What’s the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo? A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
8. In Flames and Inflamed … A man was sent to hell for his sins. As he was being led into the pits for an eternity of torment, he saw a lawyer passionately kissing a beautiful woman.
9. K-99 Problems … What’s black and brown and looks good on a lawyer? A doberman pinscher.
10. Speaking Ill of the Dead … One day the phone rang at a law office and when the receptionist answered a man asked to speak to Mr. Dewey. “I’m sorry, sir,” the receptionist said.

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6 hours ago

1. Be classy with the emails.
2. Losing a case. A man sued an airline company after it mislaid his luggage. Sadly, he lost his case. # amwriting #lawyerjokes #nearlyFriday #jokes. — Tony Batton (@thetonybatton) December 7, 2017.
3. Where there’s a will… “Where there is a will there is a lawsuit” — Addison Mizner #lawsuit #best #jokes. — Best Lawyer Jokes (@bestlawyersjoke) December 8, 2015.
4. The right to remain silent. A man in an interrogation room says, “I’m not saying a word without my lawyer present.” “You are the lawyer.” said the policeman.
5. Payrate breakdown.
6. Eggers, Eggers, Eggers, and Eggers, Attorneys at Law. Three generations of Eggers in one practice. They hatch so fast.
7. Bickers & Bickers, Attorneys at Law. Sounds like the judge will be given an earful.
8. Good vs great lawyer. What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge. # lawyerjokes.
9. Alicia A. Slaughter, Personal Injury Attorney. Ouch.
10. Things paralegals say? It’s on the Reminder List I sent you Monday. It’s on the Nag list I sent you Tuesday. It’s on the PLEASE list I sent you Wednesday.

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4 hours ago From the number of lawyers at the bottom of the ocean being ‘a good start’ to the question of ‘how many of lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb’, we decided to make a list of every lawyer joke we could find (even those that had very little to do with a lawyer), tallying up 214 jokes that make us facepalm, shake our heads, giggle

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2 hours ago Funny Legal Cartoons (20) Funny Legal Quotations (26) Law Practice Jokes (19) Criminal Law Jokes (1) Divorce Lawyer Jokes (6) Litigation Jokes (4) Medical Malpractice Jokes (1) Personal Injury Jokes (5) Sexual Harassment Jokes (1) Law Practitioner Jokes (99) Judges (14) Jury (3) Lawyers (89) Prosecutors (3) Lawsuites You Won't Believe (22)

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4 hours ago Funny Law 1 Anthony’s Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. Funny Law 2 Bell’s Theorem: As […] Unjust Criticism of Lawyers Joke

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8 hours ago Jokes about breaking the law. T T Info. FUNNY JOKES to make you laugh. ANGRY TITAN BOY. Jokes about breaking the law. A police officer brought four teenage boys before a judge and said, "Your honor, these kids were causing trouble at the zoo." The judge shook head head in dissapointment and said, "I hate getting reports of juvinile delequencey.

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9 hours ago

1. This Lawyer Is Thorough… The attorney tells the accused, “I have some good news and some bad news.” “What’s the bad news?” asks the accused. “The bad news is, your blood is all over the crime scene, and the DNA tests prove you did it.”
2. Trappiest Place on Earth. “A man won an $8,000 settlement from Disneyland after he got stuck on the It’s a Small World ride. He said he’ll use the money to cut out the part of his brain that won’t stop playing ‘It’s a Small World After All.'”
3. Long Tour of Duty. I work in a courthouse, so when I served jury duty, I knew most of the staff. As I sat with other prospective jurors listening to a woman drone on about how long the process was taking, a judge and two lawyers passed by, giving me a big hello.
4. A Little Too Literal. If you’re interested in becoming a lawyer, you’ll need a degree. But as these court transcripts reveal, the question is, in what? Attorney: “How was your first marriage terminated?”
5. Roll Call. I was in juvenile court, prosecuting a teen suspected of burglary, when the judge asked everyone to stand and state his or her name and role for the court reporter.
6. The First Case. An investment banker decides she needs in-house counsel, so she interviews a young lawyer. “Mr. Peterson,” she says. “Would you say you’re honest?”
7. Court of Less Appeal. Justice isn’t just blind—it’s snickering at these real courtroom give-and-takes: Judge (to young witness): Do you know what would happen to you if you told a lie?
8. Frame of Reference. When my 88-year-old mother was called for jury duty, she had to submit to questioning by the opposing lawyers. “Have you ever dealt with an attorney?”
9. The Judgment. After I prosecuted a man for killing a bird out of season with his slingshot, the court clerk suggested setting up a date for him to return with both the money for the fine and proof of community service.
10. Protesting Too Much. Arrested on a robbery charge, our law firm’s client denied the allegations. So when the victim pointed him out in a lineup as one of four men who had attacked him, our client reacted vociferously.

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1 hours ago A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer’s club by mistake. The old legal lions gave them a fight for their life and their money. The gang was very happy to escape. “It ain’t so bad,” one crook noted. “We got £25 between us.”. The boss screamed: “I warned you to stay clear of lawyers… we had £100 when we broke in!”.

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4 hours ago Funny Lawyer Quotes. 'If it weren't for my lawyer, I'd still be in prison. It went a lot faster with two people digging.'. Joe Martin A lawyer starts life giving $500 worth of law for $5 and ends giving $5 worth for $500.'. Benjamin H. Brewster In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and

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1 hours ago

1. A lawyer dies and goes to Heaven. "There must be some mistake," the lawyer argues. "I'm too young to die. I'm only 55." " Fifty-five?" says Saint Peter.
2. What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer? A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. A good lawyer can make it last even longer.
3. One day in Contract Law class, the professor asked one of his better students, "Now if you were to give someone an orange, how would you go about it?"
4. As the lawyer awoke from surgery, he asked, "Why are all the blinds drawn?" The nurse answered, "There's a fire across the street, and we didn't want you to think you had died."
5. A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mummy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?"
6. Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill.
7. At a convention of biological scientists, one researcher remarks to another, "Did you know that in our lab we have switched from mice to lawyers for our experiments?"
8. What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra? Taller.
9. The lawyer's son wanted to follow in his father's footsteps, so he went to law school and graduated with honors. Then he went home to join his father's firm.
10. How many lawyer jokes are in existence? Only three. All the rest are true stories. The Women in Law Awards is the benchmark for excellence, recognising the empowering women influencing the Australian legal profession, celebrating the female leaders, role models and future champions of the industry.

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2 hours ago — Best Lawyer Jokes (@bestlawyersjoke) January 6, 2016 Where there is a will there is a lawsuit.Addison Mizner #lawsuit #best #jokes — Best Lawyer Jokes (@bestlawyersjoke) December 8, 2015

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1 hours ago Now here is the best and most recent collection of jokes, anecdotes, quotations, and proverbs that poke fun (. . . and malice) at the legal profession. In summation, you must find The World’s Funniest Lawyer Jokes guilty of disorder in court and sentence all who read this perfect gift for any lawyer, client, judge, law student, or wannabe

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Author: Steven D. Price

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5 hours ago The Best Jokes & Funny Quotes 93 Funny One Liner Jokes 19 Best Medical Jokes About Doctors 30 Best Funny Movie Quotes 63 Funny Star Wars Jokes 77 Best Funny Love Quotes 20 Really Funny Grammar Jokes 120 Best Funny Pick Up Lines 25 Funny Harry Potter Jokes 27 Best President Jokes 20 Best Banker Jokes Kevin Hart Funny Quotes

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4 hours ago Dec 31, 2016 - Explore Gina Matthiesen's board "Law and Real Estate Humor" on Pinterest. See more ideas about humor, legal humor, lawyer jokes.

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8 hours ago Father In Law Jokes. This joke may contain profanity. 🤔. I am over 18. My wife, Father and mother in-law, and myself are at dinner. The restaurant is packed. I say, "Service sure is slow tonight." Father In Law, "Tell me something I *don't* know." followed by a smirk. Feigning a …

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3 hours ago A collection of short, funny jokes related to Lawyers! Quick, Funny Jokes! Lawyer Jokes << We have over 150 Categories of Jokes on our Main Page! Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Three. One to climb the ladder. One to …

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5 hours ago Hysterical In-Law Jokes. Although in many parts of the world marriage is now based on common interests and personal preference, remnants of the past live on in today’s humor. Jokes portray the ambivalence between the generations. “Two men were in a pub. One says to his mate, “My mother-in law is an angel.”. His friend replies, “You

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3 hours ago Bother in law: This is the 5th movie ticket you’ve bought tonight, Why?Uncle: Yes, that Idiot at the entrance keeps tearing it.Funny In-Law jokes are really nice jokes that make you laugh madly. Read these funny In-law jokes: Son-in-Law, Mother-in-Law, Father-in-Law and Daughter-in-Law and share with your friends.

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Just Now Mother-in-law is a woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.Funny son in law jokes are really nice jokes that make you laugh madly. Read these funny son in law jokes and share with your friends.

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1 hours ago This would only cost him $150.00. George thinks for some time and answers, "I don’t care how much it will cost to send the body back, that’s what I want to do." The Consul says, "You must have loved your mother-in-law very much considering the difference in …

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9 hours ago lawyer jokes. A man went to his lawyer and stated, "I would like to make a will but I don't know exactly how to go about it." The lawyer said, "No problem, leave it all to me." The man looked somewhat upset as he said, "Well, I knew you were going to take the biggest slice, but I'd like to leave a little to my children, too!"

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2 hours ago The Universal Laws. 1. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. 2. Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. 3. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers. 4.

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6 hours ago Shop for the perfect funny law student gift from our wide selection of designs, or create your own personalized gifts. Find the perfect gift by recipient, price, category, and more. Lawyer Gift Free Legal Advice - Law Student - Metal Ornament. $24.60. 20% Off with code ZAZCYBERDEAL

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7 hours ago Best Sister In Law Gift, Soy Candle, Birthday Gift for Sister in Law, Personalized Gift for Sister In Law, Gift for Her, Funny Candles. LoganandCoCandles. 5 out of 5 stars. (864) $5.00.

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7 hours ago Father In Law Wedding Gift From Bride, Funny Father In Law Mug, Father In Law Birthday Gift, Father Of The Groom Gift, Parents Of The Groom. NicoleGreyDesigns. 5 out of 5 stars. (3,069) $14.95. Bestseller. Add to Favorites.

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6 hours ago Aug 30, 2018 - Funny laws from around the world. . See more ideas about legal humor, humor, lawyer jokes.

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2 hours ago 304402 Request a Design Change. Availability: In Stock - Ships the next business day. Size: Folded 5" x 7" greeting card. Artist Notes: A cute baby orangutan wishing your Son-in-Law a happy birthday. See inside for lots or orangutan jokes! Brighten someone's birthday with a really funny card full of awful orangutan jokes.

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5 hours ago Judge Bruce Schroeder talks about the juror who attempted to tell a joke to a bailiff during Kyle Rittenhouse's trial at the Kenosha County Courthouse in Kenosha, Wis., on Thursday, Nov. 4, 2021.

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4 hours ago Funny Names For Personal Essays, Reflection Essay About Public Speaking, What Are Securities Law Essay 9-30-2009, Help Writing Scholarship Essay Order Number 9997 Ready before Please select 3 hours 6 hours 12 hours 24 hours 2 days 3 days 6 days 10 days 14 days

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4 hours ago Funny Mother In Law Joke. A man is driving with his wife at his side and his mother-in-law in the backseat. The women just won’t leave him alone. His mother-in-law says, “You’re driving too fast!”. His wife says, “Stay more to the left.”. After ten mixed orders, the man turns to his wife and asks, “Who’s driving this car – you

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2 hours ago Discover endless design options for any style, any budget, and any occasion. Add photos and text with our easily customizable templates. Update your office or family command center with custom notepads, Post-it® notes and more! Complete your suite with custom envelopes & personalized mailing accessories! The perfect wedding day, designed by you!

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6 hours ago Lowest price in 30 days. FREE Shipping by Amazon. In stock soon. Funny Drinking Lawyers Gift, Paralegal Gifts, Attorney Gifts, Legal Assistant Gifts, Law Student Gifts, Lawyer Gifts for Women, Sister. 4.9 out of 5 stars 17. $16.99 $ 16. 99. Get it as soon as Sat, Dec 4.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Why are Lawyer jokes so funny?

Lawyers’ need to be good with words. And their job description demands them to twist the truth sometimes. This is why their profession can easily be molded into jokes by a little exaggeration. Scroll down to see our compilation of the funniest lawyer jokes. Lawyer jokes are hilarious. You can exchange them with your friends.

Can you laugh at law puns?

Whether you’re guilty or innocent, our law puns, legal puns and law school jokes will make you laugh even in court. A young lawyer is working late one night when his door opens and in walks Satan himself.

Why do in-laws jokes live on?

Like their parents, the in-law children have difficulty coping with lifestyle differences, with differences in belief, and differences in expectations. These jokes live on because they encapsulate grains of truth. This piece is an excerpt from Ruth Nemzoff’s book, Don’t Roll Your Eyes: Making In-laws Into Family.

What are some short jokes about mother-in-law?

Short Mother-in-law Jokes Overheard in a restaurant: She: This wine is described as full bodied and imposing with a nutty base, a sharp bite, and a bitter aftertaste.He: Are you describing the wine or your mother?Open Door Policy The doorbell rang this morning.When I opened the door, there was my mother-in-law on the front step.

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